There are many things that no one tells you about married life. How hard it is to juggle families at Christmas. How many arguments will be instigated by the purchase of fabulous flap pocket sateen pants. How long it will take for all of your credit cards to have the same name on them. But there’s one thing that no one tells you in any speeches, and it’s this: you don’t need a pregnancy to have sympathy pains.
I pulled up to the theatre today just in time to watch my husband run the nose of a 26′ truck into the front bumper of his boss’ BMW. (So much for German engineering.) As I watched Kyle break the news to his boss, I chewed on my lips, nervously jingled my keys, and tried my damnedest not to blow chunks all over the floor. And that struck me as odd. I mean, I wasn’t the one who ran the truck into my boss’ crazy expensive car. You watch someone else do something like that, you shake your head and say, “Wow, that sucks.” But when the person who did it was my spouse, it was as if I had done it myself; I felt all the guilt and the fear that Kyle was probably feeling.
You hear all the cliches about two people becoming one, blah blah blah. But the truth is, it’s kind-of true. For the rest of my life, I not only have to cope with and respond to the consequences of my actions, but those of someone else’s too. And conversely, there’s nothing that I do that won’t play some kind of role in Kyle’s life as well. I’m not quite sure why it’s taken me almost 3 months for this truth to finally sink in, but the full realization is a bit staggering.
Moral of the story? Don’t run over your boss’ car, especially if you’re married.