I want today to be epic.
I want it to be full of sunshine and bare feet in the grass. I want to stroll down the sidewalk hand-in-hand, pausing from time to time to admire something in the window. I want to drive to a new city I’ve never been to and explore. I want to go play miniature golf and feel silly. I want to have a picnic in the park with sandwiches and cookies and enjoy the peace for a moment. I want to climb things and admire spring budding around me. I want to rearrange our living room, just because. I want to share ice cream on a bench and watch the world move around us. I want to go out and do things, so when people ask me what we did on Monday I can say, “Well…”
Because, you see, today is it for us. Today is our only day off together. And after the ridiculous weekend we had at work that left us exhausted and craving Denny’s to sooth our aching souls and battered egos, today feels particularly precious. I want to make the most of it, savor every moment, and make it last. I want today to be so full of joy and happiness that it can be the balm that gets me through the rest of the week. When I’m scrambling through the catwalks during hour 13 of work, I haven’t eaten in forever and peed in even longer, and I can actually smell my own swamp ass, I want to be able to pause for a moment, close my eyes, remember the warmth that was today, and smile.
But I doubt today will be epic.
Let’s face it, it’s almost noon and the only thing I’ve managed to do so far today is eat a bowl of cereal and watch Looney Tunes. Kyle is still unconscious, and likely will be for several hours still. I can’t really blame him either, the boy’s just exhausted. By the time we manage to drag ourselves into the shower and get ourselves in a stage that’s presentable to society, it’ll be solidly afternoon.
And the rest of our day?
It will be full of laundry. It will be mountains of dishes, and trying to get all the coagulated bacon grease out of the pan we left sitting on the counter two days ago. It will be picking up all the cat toys that have been scattered across the living room. It’ll be swapping out the over-ripe litter in the cat boxes. It’ll be trying to get through all the ironing that’s been piling up. It’ll be catching up on paperwork for the show this weekend. It’ll be digging through the pile of mail and bills on the desk in our office. It’ll be making a dinner big enough to generate leftovers to get us through the week.
Which is totally not epic.
But when I think on it, I don’t think we could handle an epic day off anyway. Let’s face it, a crazy adventure would likely only leave us going into the week more exhausted and stretched even thinner than before. Maybe all we really need today is a quiet day at home, without any expectations or pressure, getting caught up on life and our ducks lined up in an orderly fashion. Maybe the balm for my empty stomach and tired feet will be knowing that our apartment is clean, our bills are caught up, and I have enough clean pants to get through the next couple of days of work.
Maybe, if I’m lucky, we’ll find a little time for a walk. Some ice cream. A little sunshine on our porch.
And that would be balm enough for me.