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Some Questions For the Universe

Why do my clothes sometimes come out of the washer covered in lint?

How long until they start saying “fuck” on tv before midnight?

Do deaf people “get” rhyming?

When will spell check acknowledge that ‘dumbass’ is a word?

Does anyone really enjoy eating the Freeze-Dried Astronaut Ice Cream that you get in the planetarium gift shop?  I mean, besides astronauts?

Why are 80’s fashions like cut off shoulders and legwarmers coming back in style?  Didn’t we learn from our mistakes the first time around?

Is my cat cognitive of the fact that she’s chasing her own tail?  Does she realize how silly what she’s doing is?

Why, for the love of god, why would a person get a Disney character tattooed on their body?

Does boondoggle define anyone else’s childhood summer camp experience?

Why does writing with a Sharpie feel so good, better than writing with a regular pen?

Does anyone ever ride in sidecars anymore?

If Chinese is a tonal language then how does singing work?  Do they just string words together and let the melody of the language dictate the melody of the song?  Or is like reading a MadLibs?

Does anyone actually write in all cursive?  I tried the other day, and it was awkward.

Why don’t fruit-flavored candies taste anything like the fruits they’re inspired by?  And who had the balls to think they could reinvent the flavor of fruits?

Once and for all, does cracking your joints cause arthritis?  Because if it does, I’m going to be crippled at 30.

{ 5 comments… add one }
  • Alex January 26, 2010, 11:41 am

    I don’t know wabout the rest, but I do know that boondoggle definitely defines summer camp. The camp that I have been working for even has boondoggle periods for staff!

  • Mike C January 26, 2010, 1:23 pm

    I don’t think anyone writes all in cursive, but I know a lot of people (myself included) that write all (or mostly) in caps.


  • Camels & Chocolate January 26, 2010, 5:43 pm

    What, pray tell, is a boondoggle? (Clearly, my parents did not ship me away to summer camp, as I was stuck bopping around the corner for sports training camps all summer every year.)

    Also, when will my phone start recognizing the word “fuck” and why does it insist on changing “hahahaha” to “Haitians?” My close friends know by now that when they get a text from me saying “Haitians” that it does indeed imply that I admire their wit (though my phone’s logic was admittedly a lot more PC pre-Jan. 12…now it just seems so wrong, and yet my phone perseveres).

  • ChinkyGirLMeL January 30, 2010, 1:49 am

    Well, I hope cracking my knuckles don’t cause arthritis because if it does then I’m in trouble. hehehehe. Oh and about cursive, I tried to write in all cursive too, and it doesn’t look so nice. It looks like a little kid’s doodles.

  • Charm City Kim February 3, 2010, 11:04 am

    Brilliant questions!

    The cursive thing made me laugh out loud. When my husband took the LSATs, the first section required that he rewrite something in ALL cursive. He said it f’ed him up so badly because he spent an insane amount of time trying to remember a capital cursive F and G.

    …Why do you have to know how to write in cursive to be a lawyer? Or maybe they just wanted to see how well he could bullshit his way though!

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