Wednesday was my Fake Birthday.

My Real Birthday was yesterday, but all day yesterday I was loading in and running lights for John Hiatt.  My next day off is Monday, and Wednesday seemed right, so we named it Stephanie’s Fake Birthday and ran with it.  We celebrated with a wonderful dinner, (wood fire pizza topped with mushrooms, quail egg, and truffle oil..holy hell, it was amazing,) and I was banned from doing dishes or laundry on Wednesday.

Here at the Van Sandt household, we celebrate a lot of Fake holidays.  Fake Valentine’s Day was on the 16th, because on the 14th I was lighting jazz singer Jan Monheit.  Fake Van Sandt Christmas was on Thanksgiving, because on Real Christmas we were with the Dietrich’s, and we couldn’t take enough time off to do both.  And Fake One-Year Anniversary was celebrated two days later, because on the 15th I was lighting (get this) Muttville Comix, a dog circus/magic show for kids.

When my brother and I were growing up, we were both involved in an inordinate amount of sports, classes, clubs, and activities.  Our parents allowed us to explore pretty much every interest that we came across, and they quickly added up.  It meant that we were extremely well-rounded, but as they added up, a few aspects of our lives were sacrificed.  One was the family dinner.  Another was the celebration of holidays.  Now don’t get me wrong, Christmas and Thanksgiving were always celebrated thoroughly, and my and my brother’s birthdays were always acknowledged.  But my birthday, being in March, always managed to line up with a competition, a tournament, or a meet, right when we were neck-deep in our busiest time of year.  And my brother, god bless him, was born five days into January, so close to Christmas that it is very often forgotten completely.  (I’ll send him a birthday present eventually…)

I can never regret the way my brother and I grew up, because it afforded us many invaluable experiences.  But as a result, as an adult celebrating holidays is extremely important to me.  Unfortunately, the life and careers that Kyle and I have chosen means that most holidays one or both of us has to work.  And thus, the invention of the Fake Holiday.  We may not celebrate our holidays on the same day everyone else does.  That special evening that other families are spending time together, other couples are sharing a romantic dinner, and other friends are sharing a relaxing barbecue, we are more likely to be found pushing faders behind a light board or shlepping cable from a road case.

But come hell or high water, our holidays will be celebrated.  Even if it’s the two of us, dirty and exhausted, on the couch after work clinking together the neck of our beers and toasting our Cheesy Gordita Crunches.  We celebrate it up, Van Sandt style.

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I’ve long suspected that I am awesome.  But today, I got my proof.  I confirmed that I, Stephanie Van Sandt, control the weather. (But subconsciously, because I don’t know I’m doing it.)

Example: We moved to Saratoga Springs, NY, where snowfalls are known to be on the epic side and skiing is supposed to be plentiful.  Kyle’s been dying to go all season, but due to schedules, it’s never worked out.  Except the last two weeks, which I had off.  So Kyle decides two weeks ago that come Monday, we’re going skiing.  I do not want to go skiing, because I don’t really know how and I have yet to find ski pants that weren’t made for an anorexic Etheopia, and I refuse to feel clumsy and fat in the same day.  But I can’t really say no.  Which is clearly why I made it be 40 degrees and sunny last weekend so that by Monday, all the snow was gone.  Gone.  No skiing for Stephanie!  Thanks, me!

Example: As previously stated, I’ve had the last two weeks off.  (This is a slow month for us, lay off.)  About half-way through, Kyle got sick with the “crap;” you know, when you’re tired and you’re nose is stuffed and runny and your sinuses hurt and you feel yucky and take it upon yourself to be a general pain in the ass.  I, on the other hand, felt just dandy, and was very productive.  Until Tuesday night, when the back of my throat started to feel yucky.  (Yes, that is a medical term.  Shut up, I’m sick.)  Which was timed impeccably, considering there was a 7am call scheduled for Wednesday morning, followed by a gig on Thursday.  I knew I was starting to get sick, (thanks, Kyle,) but what can I do?  It’s not like I can call in sick my first day back to work after two weeks off!  Which is clearly why I made it dump two feet of wet snow on Saratoga Springs, causing my boss to tell me not to bother trying to make it to Albany for the event Wednesday morning and my boss’ boss to postpone the event on Thursday.  Obviously my subconscious knew that I was getting sick, and wanted to give me an extra two days off and not make me get up at 5am this morning.  Thanks, me!

Okay, so I only have two examples, but clearly that’s because my powers are new and still developing.   And with my budding powers, I will surly be able to whip up something, (like a blizzard or hurricane or sandstorm, I’m not picky,) next week so that I can have my birthday off.

Happy birthday to me.

(Right?)

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