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Squeeze that square ass!

So, I’m watching V1H1’s I Love Money, right?  Because despite my deep love of language and literature, I apparently have terrible taste in tv.  And it goes to commercial.  And in between ads for vitamin water and mini vans, I saw the perfect culmination of hilarious and creepy.

According to the rest of the internet, this commercial is offensive.  Some feel that it’s incredibly inappropriate for children, while others feel that it objectifies women.  I think that if this is true, it does neither of them well, and people probably need to lighten up.

While yes, the commercial is a little raunchy, it’s done is such a silly manner that the video becomes the sexual equivalence of red feetie pajamas.  I’m pretty sure that even a 4 year-old could tell you that the commercial is meant to be goofy and funny.  (Now that I think about it, I doubt many Spongebob fans were even alive for the original…with they even get the reference?)  Besides, as an avid watcher of Spongebob, (bad taste in tv, we already covered this,) I can tell you that there are some pretty adult moments in the  show itself, mostly involving nakedness.  And of course, there’s that same old argument about, “If you don’t like what’s on tv then don’t let your kids watch it, why are you letting your tv raise your kids, etc etc.”  You’ve heard it all before, I don’t need to repeat myself.

And as far as the whole objectification of women goes, yeah, it’s probably sexist, but so is every other rap song in exsistence.  According to rap industry, women are tits and ass on a stick.  (Like a corn dog, but squishy.)  Seems to me a man in a creepy plastic king mask talking about women’s square bums is the least of our worries.  Besides, the asses on those women were square.  As in they can’t possibly exist.  It’s not like little girls are going to grow up hating themselves because their ass doesn’t make a 90 degree angle.  To be offended by the sexism of this commercial is to not give enough credit to girls or women.

No, my issue with this commercial is that it’s just damn creepy.  That king!  He’s the stuff that nightmares are made of.  Kids of my generation were scared of clowns; I’m pretty sure the kids of today are afraid of that fucking king.  And that aweful brown shorts/tube socks/black shoes combination the women were wearing?  Now that, I find offensive.

{ 1 comment… add one }
  • doahleigh April 14, 2009, 9:40 am

    Even if it’s not offensive or inappropriate, this commercial is so beyond ridiculous. What was BK thinking!

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