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Why Kyle Owes La Toya Jackson An Apology

AT RISE:  Stephanie and Kyle are discovered in the interior of a warm apartment living room.  Kyle is lying on a worn, plaid couch, attention focused on his laptop.  Stephanie is sitting on the floor, eating Chocolate Cheerios dry and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race on tv.  She giggles periodically at the show, pulling Kyle’s attention away from his laptop.

He watches the drag queens prancing around on tv for a few moments, trying to hide a smile with a look of annoyance.

KYLE:  How does this show make you feel as a woman?

STEPHANIE:  I think it’s hilarious!  Why, how do you think it should make me feel?

KYLE:  (Mumbles.) I don’t know.

He continues to watch tv.  (Stephanie has yet to blink.)

KYLE:  Damn, how is this show allowed on tv?  And how has Bravo not picked this show up?

STEPHANIE:  Dunno.  But I kinda want to be a drag queen now.

They both watch silently.  Kyle has stopped whatever he was doing on the internet.  Stephanie continues to pop dry Cheerios into her mouth.

The show is nearing its conclusion.  RuPaul looks at the two drag queens that are the bottom two and dramatically announces that it is “time…to lip sync…………for your life!” The drag queens dance and lip sync while the judges watch and bop their heads along to the music.

KYLE: Christ!  How much plastic surgery did that guy have to get so he could look like Janet and Michael Jackson?!

STEPHANIE: Who?  That guy?  (Indicating the drag queen twirling his long red wig over his head.)

KYLE:  No, that one!  The judge!

Stephanie stares incredulously at Kyle, mouth agape.

STEPHANIE:  Kyle, that judge is La Toya Jackson, I think her’s is all natural!

KYLE:  Oh.

Stephanie falls over in a fit of hysterical laughter.  Kyle glowers at her as she lies on the carpet, howling.  This continues for probably 10 minutes, until Kyle starts throwing coasters at her.


{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Kate (and Ben) February 18, 2011, 9:55 am

    hahahahaha!!! awesome.

  • adriana February 24, 2011, 1:09 pm

    Hahahahaha that is so awesome!

  • Karen March 2, 2011, 4:56 pm

    Kyle – as a parent I feel I have failed!

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