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The One Where I Try to Return to the Blog World Unnoticed

Yeah, so a naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the othoh shit, they’re here! 

Yes, they’re here.

No, I don’t know how they got in.

Well, I’d be pissed at me too if I were ducking out on me like this.

Look, let’s just quietly move towards the door and maybe they won’t-Heeeeeey, guys! Long time no see!

Yeah, it has been a while. Two weeks is a long time in blog world.

Why have I been ignoring you? I’ve been busy.

Not doing that.

Or that.

You don’t think much of me, do you?

So what  have I been doing? Working. Workingworkingworkingworkingworking.

Spending an inordinate amount of time in a giant concrete building with no windows. I’ve been told that there have been nice days recently, that it only rains when I have the day off, but I wouldn’t know. It’s been show after show after show, countless hours spent in the dark thinking about light. Dance recitals, graduations, dance recitals, rock shows, musicals, dance recitals. Mostly dance recitals.

Working gigs in other people’s theaters. Squeezing in a free-lance gig during our few days off, trying to make a little extra money on the side.

Even when I’m not at work, I’m working. Hours spent on my couch behind my laptop, pouring my brain into a complicated work project that not only reduces my brain to a lumpy pudding but forces me to think about my entire rig in a different way. Diving into the planning stages of  another free-lance project that takes me beyond the bounds of my experience and far outside my comfort zone.

And in the middle of all that, trying to keep the laundry under control, the dirty dishes at bay, and my cat from having a mental breakdown. Trying to make sure that Kyle and I are appropriately fed, dressed, and some-what well rested for all occasions. Only moderately succeeding on all fronts.

So yeah, I’ve been a little busy.

Look, don’t feel sorry for me. (Well, maybe a little, if you want to.) There have been a few cracks into which we’ve managed to jam some leisure. Dinner with friends. A happy hour here and there. A bike ride when we can. And anytime I’ve had even the most meager allowance of free time I’ve been indulging in my latest obsession: geocaching.

Yeah, I’m still into that.

Yes, I do suck less at it than I did previously. In fact, asshole, I’m up to 43 finds. I’ve even managed to go back and find a few of those initial caches that confounded me so badly on that first day.

The more caches I find, the more rabid I am to find more. You guys, it’s seriously so much fun! Of course, the thrill of locating the cache, seeing all the ingenuity that people use to come up with crafty and creative ways of hiding the caches, those are the obvious awesomeness of caching. But just the fact that caching gets me out of the house and exploring new corners of my town that I’d never known were there, that in itself makes caching fucking wonderful. When I’ve been staring at column after column of numbers for hours and my brain has a similar consistency to a microwaved hot dog and I’m no longer capable of spelling my own name, nothing clears my mind and refreshes my spirit like jumping on my bike and spending an hour exploring a hidden trail through the woods that I’ve passed by a million times without noticing. After a quick cache, I can breath easily again, focus, and dive back into the fray without wanting to eat glass. After a day of caching, I feel like fucking Superwoman.

So, yeah, that’s where I’ve been. What’ve you been up to?

You published your novel?

And cured cancer?

Yeah, I bet bringing democracy to Cuba was pretty challenging.

Well, fuck you, I’m going geocaching.


{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Camels & Chocolate June 27, 2012, 8:59 pm

    Welcome back! The Internet definitely was far less dull (and less snarky) in your absence.

  • Kate June 28, 2012, 7:42 am

    “Screws just fall out all the time, the world’s an imperfect place.”

    I thought geocaching always sounded pretty cool, but I figured in our Podunk little town, there really couldn’t be many participants.

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