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The Meal My Heart Needs

Sometimes, I wish I had a desk job.

Not very often, because I mean, come on, my job kicks ass.  Usually only at midnight, when I’m mopping the deck and I’m exhausted from running around all day and I smell bad because I’ve been sweating since 11am and my hands are covered in burns from hot lights and I’m itchy from working amongst the fiber glass and I still have a 40 minute drive ahead of me.  Then a desk job sounds kind-of nice.

But right now, I’m kind-of yearning for the cubical farm.  You see, Kyle and I went grocery shopping yesterday, and in preparation I planned out our meals for the week.  I sat down with our calenders and figured out for each day if we would both be home for dinner.  And what I saw made me sad.  In the next two weeks, I will be home for dinner exactly twice.  And that sucks.

See, for Kyle and I, dinner is very important.  It’s more than just a chance to jam delicious things in our mouths.  It’s a chance for us to cook together, something we both enjoy.  It’s a chance for us to spend time together, talking and staring our days.  It’s a chance for us to watch bad tv together.  (Right now we’re working through the last season of Hell’s Kitchen.)  It’s a precious time for us, one that we look forward to everyday.

However, my job more often than not has be taking my dinner in a much less warm and comfortable setting.  Usually, at a table backstage with my lukewarm leftovers.  (Our microwave kinda blows.)  There’s no cuddly husband or begging kitties.  There is a tv, but it’s usually showing Cops or the like.  (I tried to change it to Toddlers and Tiaras once and my co-workers damn-near rioted.)  It’s an okay place to chill; beats the hell out of bologna out of a paper bag.  There’s a couch and a tv and awesome coworkers.  But it’s not my kitchen, and the people I eat with are sure as hell not my husband.  I miss dinner; not the meal, but the experience that strengthens my marriage  and reinforces my spirit.  There’s something about that meal with my little family that my heart needs.

I guess what I’m saying is that the next time you lament having to make dinner after a long day, remember that this girl would trade places with you in a heartbeat.

(Until after dinner.  Then I’d like to go back to lighting rock shows, please.)

{ 10 comments… add one }
  • Miss Melcious November 4, 2010, 10:21 am

    Yes, family dinners are far better than alone ones….and smile, it could be a whole lot worse…twice isn’t so bad. You’ll just have to make the best of it!

  • Camels & Chocolate November 4, 2010, 11:17 am

    I’ve been jonesing for an office job lately, too, mainly because journalism is going to Hell in a handbasket, and my bank account is right there with it. SIGH.

    Blech. I hear you there. Ticket sales are way down right now, and while that doesn’t directly affect me right now, it does make me worry about my job security for the future.

  • Beverly Money November 5, 2010, 8:20 am

    I just love your blogs!!!! You are such a talented writer!!

  • Alex November 5, 2010, 8:54 am

    I know exactly how you feel because I do the same thing every week. In fact, since we live across the street from the supermarket, we don’t even keep much in the house unless we know we will really be around. Dinner at home together is such a great thing (and often saves a good bunch of $$$) but with two people in the industry it can get pretty hard to make it happen. Good luck and good eats!

    We’re actually pretty lucky in that we sometimes work together, and those nights aren’t so bad. We both bring leftovers, and after eating we’ll sometimes take a walk around the complex, there’s still some together time. Still not a warm, fuzzy night in the kitchen, but better than dinner alone!

  • Lady B November 5, 2010, 7:02 pm

    you are too adodrable and I love that you and your hubby have that kind of relationship. And that you are well fed. My manfriend and I are both not such awesome cooks so meals become dangerous. Although tonight we threw a dinner party! ANd no one died! although… food poisoning doesn’t usually show up immediately does it? I’m getting concerned.
    Also – Im jealous of your badass job. Way more awesome than mine selling mutual funds.

  • adriana November 6, 2010, 8:34 am

    I totally get this. We don’t cook all that often, but just being home together is so awesome. Hope your schedule clears up… maybe you could sub in breakfast for the next couple weeks!

    Holy ass crackers, I totally thought of that! Doing a big, cozy brunch instead of dinner. Problem is one of us thinks that 10am is a reasonable hour to be eating brunch, while the other one thinks that consciousness before noon is ludicrous, and brunch should probably wait until 2:00ish. You see the problem we face.

  • Honest to Christina November 7, 2010, 11:37 am

    I fell you. Even though I am *supposed* to have normal hours, the reality is that I never get home before 7 or 8.
    We still have dinner together a few nights a week, but what I really miss is – like you said- the cooking part.

    When we were first married we used to cook dinner together almost every day. Now we don’t have time and I really miss those days. Sure we didn’t have money because I wasn’t working, but we had time…sometimes that seems more valuable, no?


    That is the one and only thing I miss about college. Days spent in bed until 3pm, big breakfast food, going to the bar together until 1am. Nothing to do but spend time together. Bliss.

  • Charm City Kim November 8, 2010, 12:04 pm

    Because Jeremy has class most nights, I usually eat a bowl of cereal while parked in front of the TV.

    You should meet my friend Chocolate Cheerios. They taste even better at 1am than they do at 10am!

  • Sid November 11, 2010, 1:27 am

    First time at your blog. Intrigued by your job.

    Also shocked by Camel’s confession that journalism is going to hell. I’m actually thinking of breaking into the market. Crap!

  • patience November 11, 2010, 4:22 pm

    i can relate…its been an interesting scheduling nightmare on josh and my end as well. sending you endurance.


    Holy hell, if anyone feels my pain it’s you, lovely. I take heart that at least we’re doing jobs that we’re good at and we enjoy, but damn! do I miss evenings with my little family. I know you do, too.

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