When Kyle left for work this morning, he gave me a kiss and said, “Okay sweetheart, I’ll see you Tuesday night.”
The fucked up part is that he wasn’t kidding.
You see, Kyle is working a rental gig at the Egg that, for the first few days at least, is working him until late. (All this after working a full day at his real job.) This gets him home at around midnight, at which point I will hopefully be long asleep, since I have to be up at 4 am tomorrow morning for my own gig at the Egg. I’ll be working until about the time when Kyle is due in. (The Egg will literally be swapping out Van Sandt’s, how messed up is that?) Kyle will again be working until late, and I will again be going to bed stupid early and getting up stupid early. I’ll be finishing up about the time he comes in and we’ll again swap places. The cycle of ridiculous ends Tuesday night, when I can stay up and wait for him to get home. (Since I have Wednesday off.)
Sounds like it’s going to suck balls, doesn’t it?
Sure, we’ll see each other for 15 minutes or so when we switch off at work. Kyle will take me in his arms when he comes to bed at night and whisper goodnight, and before I leave in the morning I’ll give him a kiss and tell him I love him. But we’re both notoriously hard sleepers, and I can guaran-fucking-tee that neither one of us will remember both exchanges. So while we may see each other over these next three days, we won’t really see each other over the next three days.
Which is going to suck balls.
That means no recounting our days together while we cook dinner. No sharing an episode of Sports Night on the couch with ice cream. No crawling into bed together at the end of the day. Not to mention the fact that the laundry, dish washer, cat boxes, and other general cleaning and housekeeping fall flat on my shoulders. For the next three days, (and with our schedules, really, the next two weeks,) I’m essentially missing my partner in life.
On the other hand, it’s not all bad. It gives me a little alone time to do more selfish, me-centric things that I might not otherwise do if Kyle were around. Like taking extra long runs and extra long showers. Painting my nails. Watching episode after episode of Intervention, Tabitha’s Salon Takeover, and any show with the word ‘hoarder’ in it. Besides, crazy busy weeks like this that throw us off balance and introduce chaos into our live are good for us as people and a couple. It keeps us from getting in a rut, from getting complacent. There is no coasting along for us; we must be active participants in our lives and constantly reconsider our roles in our house and our relationship. And most importantly, it makes us appreciate those moments that we do have together, be they a few minutes in the hall at work or a moment of consciousness when I wake and feel him next to me in our bed. And one day, we’ll both have the day off, and we’ll spend it together, and it will be wonderful.
(But until then, it’s going to suck balls.)