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To say that I’m a bit absent-minded wouldn’t be far from the truth.

As a kid and up through college, I was infamous for loosing things.  If it was vaguely important, I lost it.  Keys.  Shoes.  Gloves.  Pieces of any uniform.  Text books.  Homework.  Shit, I went through four retainers in about two years!  (The ironic part?  I still have the last one.)  I’m terrible about thoughtlessly putting things down, and later forgetting where I put said item.  As a result, sometimes bad things, (like not being able to find something right when I need it, loosing important pieces to an object or a set, loosing very valuable or meaningful objects,) tend to happen to me.

But sometimes, even when I’m not being careless or spacey, bad things still happen to me.  I call it serenfuckity.

Serendipity is what happens when you’re going about your business, and you happen upon something awesome.  Serenfuckity is what happens when you’re going about your business, and bad shit happens anyway.  And not just bad shit.  The worst possible shit that could happen.

Take last night.  Every solitary flat surface in our kitchen is full of dishes, including parts of the floor.  I’m tired, but I’m going to roll up my sleeves and dive in anyway.  Aren’t I responsible?  Before getting started though, I take off my wedding and engagement rings; don’t want to get soap and nasty food crap in my diamond.  Aren’t I responsible?  I place them where I always do, in a spoon rest on the back of the stove, out of the way.  Aren’t I responsible?

First thing I did was to attempt to move a giant pot of noodle-soaking water from the back burner of the stove.  As I did, the handle of the pot accidentally hit my spoon rest.  And flipped it.


Okay, no need to panic.  I start picking through the dirty dishes.  They’ve probably just fallen down somewhere on the stove.  I find my wedding band fairly quickly, though it’s traveled farther than I suspected.  No sign of my engagement ring.  I keep searching.

Ten minutes go by.  I call my husband over to help me in my search.  We take each dish out of the sink individually and search the sink.  We take the stove top apart.  We sweep the floor on our hands and knees.  “Is there any chance it fell behind the stove?” Kyle asked.  “Honey, anything’s possible,” I responded.  We keep searching.

We pull the stove out and search behind it.  We find a gel pen, a guitar pick, and a suspicious amount of paper clips.  We get down on our hands and knees and run our fingers over every surface.  And finally, Kyle spots it.  It has fallen behind the stove and into the gap between the wall and the floor.  It is lying precariously on a bit of insulation inside the wall.  Oh, and did I mention that we live on the second floor?  It could not have fallen in a worse place.


I run for a wire coat hanger, and breathes held, Kyle manages to fish it out.  It’s got a dust bunny clinging to it, but it’s none worse for the wear.  I’ve been extremely lucky, because all it took was a slip of the hanger and that thing was tumbling down into the wall one floor down.  And at that point, either we’re tearing the first floor wall apart, or it’s gone forever.

I was trying to be responsible.  My ring is the most beautiful, precious, and expensive object I’ve ever owned, (sentimental value aside,) and I was trying to take care of it, protect it.  And through an incredible bout of bad luck, I managed to loose it in the worst possible place, and came very close to loosing my most prized and precious possession.


{ 8 comments… add one }
  • Charm City Kim February 3, 2010, 11:02 am

    I have been in your position before… although I wasn’t cleaning dishes, I was at the gym… and sadly, I never recovered my wedding band!

    I’m glad you were able to get your rings!!

    Don’t tell my husband, but I lost my engagement ring once at the gym, too! I was extremely lucky in that it was a small gym and I was the only one there, so once I discovered it was missing I was able to run back and find it. Two close calls too many…

  • san February 3, 2010, 11:09 am

    And why exactly would there be a space between the floor and the wall?

    Glad you found both your rings, though. Put them in a really safe place next time (like, your jewelry box) 🙂

    We live in an old house that has been converted into three separate rental apartments, so it’s not totally surprising that there are a few…erm…gaps, here and there.

  • Camels & Chocolate February 3, 2010, 5:56 pm

    Dude, that is my worst nightmare!!! Particularly, as my ring was my (dead) grandmother’s, and there’s no replacing this bad boy. I take it off for every Bikram class and fear for the next 90 minutes it’s somehow going to disappear in the black hole that is my purse.

  • Steve B. February 3, 2010, 7:44 pm

    Good term for it.

    I chuckled as you describe the stuff behind the stove as you guys haven’t been up in SS long enough to have accumulated that much crap in un-seen places.

    I pulled out the sofa in the living room last month to discover a black hole of kitten toys, enough to fully stock the cat toy aisle at PetSmart.

    So that’s what you have to get, kittens.

    It’s a truth that theater folks are cat people. You can’t have a dog as there’s no way either of you is getting up 1/2 hr. earlier in the AM to walk the dog, especially when it’s -10 below, as SS has been known to see. And with the stupid hrs. we work….Cats are perfect.

    I have two I can loan you

    Love the site.

    Steve from CB.com

    We’ve got two already. I keep trying to bring more home, but Kyle says we’re not allowed to have more animals than people in the house. He ruins all my fun…

  • Katy February 4, 2010, 12:48 am

    Yikes!! This is why I tend to put my ring in my pocket when I do dishes – I’m eternally afraid it’s going to go down the drain (granted, mine doesn’t have the value of either of yours, but still…)

  • Ben/Kate February 4, 2010, 9:56 pm

    oh, holy shit!! that’d be nerve-wracking.
    also, I’m totally stealing that word–happens to me all the time.

  • The Bee February 9, 2010, 6:09 pm

    My solution to this problem … I rarely wear my wedding rings. That’s awful isn’t it? I mean why have them it they stay on my nightstand most of the time?!?! But you and I have the same luck (Or at least the same shitty memory) and I KNOW it would be gone before you know it.

  • Vonni February 10, 2010, 9:20 am

    I found you through Charm City Kim. And I am stealing this word as it describes my frequent mishaps perfectly. BTW…I bought all my GF’s when they got married ring holder stand things to avoid this problem. So far its worked. 🙂

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