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My Little Robot and Me

There’s a website on the internet that is a danger to society.  It lures you in with whispers of tempting pleasures, available to anyone.  It blinds you with beauty, and places at your fingertips the thing that you believe will quench your strongest desires at an affordable price.  Anyone with a credit card can indulge in their delights.

That website?


They sell one thing per day, in limited quantity, and super cheap.  Like, stupidly cheap.  Needless to say, we’re addicted.  Some of the items purchased over the years by the Van Sandts off of Woot are: a GPS , digital picture frames, a pint-sized laptop, and enough witty t-shirts to construct a regulation-sized parachute.

Our most recent purchase?

A Roomba.  A little robot that putters around our apartment and vacuums.  It’s absolutely glorious.

Let me tell you how this thing works.  Once the floor is cleared, I push the Clean button, (usually with my foot,) and Roomba backs itself out of its little charging station.  (It even provides an adorable little “backing up” beep.)  Then it crawls around the floor, sucking up crap as it goes.  It works on the same principle as those little toy robots that run until they smack into the wall, except that instead of continuing to slam itself into the wall, it changes directions.  And after enough passes, the whole carpet gets cleaned.  And eventually, after enough cycles, it starts to learn my house, and is able to navigate the area fairly gracefully.

And it does a pretty damn good job.  Better than I do.  It gets right in all the corners and tight edges that I could totally get with the edging attachment if I wanted to.  But now I’ve got a fucking robot that does it for me!

The best part?  The damn thing puts itself away when it’s done.

Let me repeat that.  The robot that cleans my carpet for me.  Puts itself away. When it’s finished.  Drives itself back into its little charging station and proudly announces its accomplishments with a little tinny tune.

I’ve never been one to place happiness and emotional value in possessions or objects.  But you tell me: is there any bad day that can’t be made better by looking up over a glass of wine and seeing a little white robot cheerfully puttering across the carpet as it vacuums your floor?

No.  The answer is no.

{ 14 comments… add one }
  • doahleigh July 14, 2009, 7:55 am

    Holy shit, I want a fucking Roomba! I don’t even care if it vacuums (yes I do), I just want to watch it for hours. Fascinating!

  • adriana July 14, 2009, 11:13 am

    Oh wow, I want one of those! And thanks for introducing me to that website – awesome!

  • Suzy Voices July 14, 2009, 3:50 pm

    Sounds awesome! Is it just for carpet, or does it do hard floors too? I don’t mind vaccuuming, it’s the sweeping I hate.

  • Jeff July 14, 2009, 6:16 pm

    I love woot, and a Roomba was my first purchase on that site a few years ago. We have used it so much, it’s worn out and we are about in need for a new one. We bought a scooba too. We have mostly tile floors, and we haven’t vacuumed or mopped in a couple of years. They do it for us.

    Best part about the site is a woot off. So much for trying to get any work done for a couple of days…..

  • chinkygirlmel July 14, 2009, 7:31 pm

    Oh wow…just couldn’t resist. I’m jumping off to that website now. yey. =)

  • andhari July 14, 2009, 11:10 pm

    OH wow hellooo, I would like a robot that moves around with funny sound and clean the room. I just checked out Woot and it does look interesting lol

  • allison July 14, 2009, 11:40 pm

    I WANT A ROOMBA! I’ve been obsessed since an opening scene of Gilmore Girls was just them staring at the thing puttering around. It seems adorable. I’d want to name it and talk about it like it was a pet. Or baby.

    What GPS did you get? I was thinking of getting one when I move to a new city next month, but don’t know anyone who has one/can give a rec. Thanks!

  • Trixie July 15, 2009, 12:11 am

    Dude. You suck. Swear to god, I’ve been crawling all over the internet for like 2 hours to try to find a cheap Roomba! I am *so* jealous, you can’t even understand. There is literally nothing I hate more than vacuuming. This little critter would save my life! I have now signed on to Woot! Too bad there’s no referral deal for you though!!!!

  • Mandi July 15, 2009, 3:12 am

    Holy. Shit. I remember when the Roomba first came out and I was saying how bad I wanted one THEN and I was *living at home with my mom* at the time. Now I’m living with my boyfriend & a 4 week old baby and I would KILL to have a Roomba, okay maybe not KILL… but it depends on if it were an innocent person or someone who deserved it. And I too love Woot. I even follow them on Twitter. With device updates.

  • CharmCityKim July 15, 2009, 7:24 am

    Those things always freaked me out! And for some reason, I didn’t think it got the corners.

    But your description of this little magic robot kind of makes me want one.

  • Melissa July 15, 2009, 10:50 am

    That gives a whole new meaning to house work. Simply amazing. I NEED to invest.

  • Chelsea July 15, 2009, 11:43 am

    Totally want one. Coulnd’t justify buying one when my current vacuum works fine. I also want the Scooba!

  • Camels & Chocolate July 15, 2009, 11:09 pm

    Wow! Can you send me your robot when you’re through? I have a whole lot of cat hair that’s currently filling the hallway. Walking in this house is a hindrance!

  • Buggys July 17, 2009, 9:39 am

    Ok, I’m pretty excited by that description. I would love one that does the stairs (I hate doing stairs) I guess that would be called a cleaning service.

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