I try to live my life without regret.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life. Not end-up-in-jail stupid, but definitely hide-under-the-covers-in-shame-and-maybe-avoid-certain-people-for-a-while stupid. But I believe that we are the sum of our experience, so as long as I’m happy with the person I am today, I can’t regret the choices that I made yesterday.
But today, I regret the choices I made yesterday. Just thinking about what Kyle and I did is enough to make me feel sick. I feel dirty and stupid and like a lesser person because of it.
Yesterday, Kyle and I paid $28 to see Toy Story 3 in 3D.
Before I go on, I’d like to state for the record that Toy Story 3 was a great movie. It was funny, it had heart, (a little scary,) and it made both Kyle and I nostalgic for the childhood friends of our own pasts. Overall, a great way to end the Toy Story trilogy.
But the fact that we paid $28 to see it makes me loose control of my dinner. It was bad enough when movie tickets were $10 a piece, but the fact that they feel justified in tacking on an extra $4 per ticket because the movie is in 3D is just extortion.
I should also state for the record that I’m a little biased against 3D movies. Okay, who am I kidding, I hate 3D movies. The glasses are uncomfortable and hurt my nose. The projections are almost never perfectly overlapped; at best they give me a headache, at worst, make me motion sick. Plus, there’s the fact that I don’t like things flying at my face, which is pretty much the whole gimmick of 3D movies. If I want to see large objects come flying at my face, I’ll go straddle the dividers on the highway. I go to movies to relax and watch other people have death defying adventures, not have them myself.
Which, I suppose, is why the fact that we paid $8 extra to see it in 3D makes me so mad. Like I said, Toy Story 3 is a great movie, but seeing in in 3D made it no better than if we’d watched it in 2D. The 3D didn’t add anything to the movie. Oh, sure, for the first 45 seconds you’re all like, “Oh, wow! There’s shit flying at my face! Neat-o!” But then your eyes adjust, and it’s no longer anything special. You’re just watching a movie. In fact, for me, it made it less enjoyable of an experience, so for me, it’s just watching a movie, but while wearing my grandfather’s reading glasses.
Unfortunately, it seems as if this is the trend the movie industry is heading towards. It seems like every movie these days is coming out “IN 3D!” And why not? At least for animated movies, making a movie 3D takes no extra effort, and cost them nothing. If Kyle’s high school friend who now works for Pixar is to be believed, it’s as easy as making a selection from a drop-down menu. And adding $4 to the price of each ticket. (That’s where the real skill comes in.)
But what fries me the most is the fact that there’s no longer the choice of seeing a movie in 2D. Okay, so even if it doesn’t cost anything extra to make the movie in 3D, I can see how you might want to charge a little extra for the cost of maintaining another projector and those cheap-ass glasses. That’s fine. Let the people who give a shit about things like seeing a movie in 3D pay extra for it. Let me and the people who don’t give a shit see it in regularD. In fact, I not only don’t care, but I don’t want to see it in 3D; that third dimension is a deterrent for me. But some movies, like Toy Story 3, aren’t even offered in 2D around here. Which is why I have a hard time seeing the $4 tack-on as the cost of an addition feature, instead of just jacking up movie prices.
Which is why, last night, I think Kyle and I saw our last movie in the theaters. I mean, what’s the point? We can drive to the theater, pay $28, have to wear uncomfortable glasses, listen to some little twat behind me talk during the whole movie, and leave with a headache. Or, we can wait a couple months and stream it on Netflix. We can go out and enjoy a nice dinner at a local restaurant, then come home and sit on our couch, (with or without pants,) and enjoy the brilliant voicing and inspired writing with a beer in our hands and cats in our laps. For the same price.
I’ll take the beer and cats, thank you.
(Especially with no pants.)