I have absolutely no reason to write about Halloween.
Seriously, nothing exciting happened. It was pretty much the exact same night as last year: we made up costumes at the last second, went bar hopping with our friends Christine and Ryan, got blitzed, ate 3am drunk food at the diner, and went home. Truly, the only difference between this year and last year is that this year didn’t end with me vomiting on my coat and suffering a massive hangover the next day. No, there’s really nothing worth telling about this year’s Halloween, and not a single reason for wasting your time with this post.
Except one: I am ridiculously proud of our costumes.
See, Kyle and I are a bit costume-challenged. Despite the fact that we work in an extremely creative field, we don’t easily come up with creative and witty costume ideas; it just doesn’t come to us like it does other people. And we don’t make things easy on ourselves by placing some pretty restrictive criteria on our costumes. We don’t want to spend much or any money, and it’s usually the last minute so we don’t have time to build or fabricate anything elaborate. And, like everyone else on the planet, we feel immense pressure for our costumes to be somehow clever or witty. So, creative and witty costumes that don’t cost anything and we can put together at the last minute. Go.
Mine came together the night before. I was looking at pictures online, trying to work out something that I could pull together, when I saw it. That dress she’s wearing. I own that dress. It’s in my closet right now. Perfect.
And that’s how I became Ramona Flowers.
(Ramona Flowers? The heroine from Scott Pilgrim vs The World? No? Well, it’s a kickass movie and you need to watch it.)
Not bad, right? I know the boots aren’t right, and if you want to get really technical her hair is blue in the scene when she wears that dress. But pretty fucking good for something I pulled entirely out of my closet the night before. At least I already had the hardest part: the hair! All and all, the whole thing cost me $8 for a tube of bright pink lipstick.
Kyle was a little harder to figure out. See, Kyle doesn’t do well with anything that makes him feel silly. So on top of it being the last minute, on the cheap, and having to be somehow creative and witty, it also had to maintain his dignity. But finally, in the 11th hour, it came to me. It was perfect because it commented on current events AND he already owns most everything he’d need.
And that’s how Kyle became an out-of-work hockey player.
(An out-of-work hockey player? Because of the NHL lock-out? Seriously guys, you’re killing me.)
The jersey and gloves are his and the cardboard we swiped from the liquor store when we stopped for beer. Zero expense and zero loss of dignity. Done.
And the rest? Well, you know the rest…
Halloween, we owned your ass. With $8 worth of lipstick.