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78 Hours in Wichita or A Series of Clusterfucks

May 18, 2:45  Arrive in Wichita.  Head to leasing office to pick up keys.

May 18, 2:50  Discover that despite the fact that MTW has agreed to pay for our housing, they set the lease start date for the 23rd

May 18, 2:51 Begin a furious barrage of calls and text messages to the Company Manager.

May 18, 2:52 Begin worrying that I’ll have to live in the car for the next 5 days with the Yowler Twins

May 18, 2:55 Sit in the car to wait for phone call, for fear that the cats will broil in the backseat.

May 18, 3:15 Begin to hardcore panic.  Blame the apartment complex for sucking, the theatre for setting the wrong date, and Kyle for convincing me to take this job.

May 18, 3:30 Recieve text message from Company Manager.  We’ll  be switching apartments with a scenic painter, since she won’t be in today.

May 18, 3:32 Finally get keys from leasing office.

May 18, 3:35 Haul cats out of car and up 2 flights of stairs to apartment.

May 18, 3:37 Key won’t open the door.  Let loose an epic string of profanity.

May 18, 3:45 Return from the leasing office with another key.  Am finally able to open my apartment door.

May 18, 3:50 Enter apartment.  Realize that a) it is all one room, (when standing at the front door you are standing in both the living room and our bedroom,) and b) shares standards of cleanliness with a frat house.  The carpets are sticky.

May 18, 5:20 Make first of many trips to Wal-Mart for (among other things,) a shower curtain, cleaning supplies, and ice cream.

May 18, 5:30 Realize that Wichita Wal-Mart contains some of the finest examples of white trash that I have ever seen.

May 18, 7:00 Upon returning home from Wal-Mart, tried to cook dinner without the aid of any real dishes, cooking supplies, or microwave.  Luckily, frozen pizza requires none of those.  Also spent my first evening without tv or internet.  The decent into madness was surprisingly quick.

May 19 Spent the whole day arranging the apartment, hunting down shorts that don’t make me look like a whale smothered in cottage cheese, and trying to clean the carpets without a vaccume.  Also spent an hour and a half trying to mooch wifi from a neighbor; was only marginally successful at any of them.

May 20, 9:00 First day of work.  Met a billion people, only 3 of who’s names I remember.  This is especially awkward, since apparently everyone remembers me from visiting Kyle last year.  Spend the day trying to pretend that I remember meeting everyone.

May 21, 9:00 Second day of work.  Spend the day on phone with Kyle, trying to arrange a last-minute trip on Sunday to check out a potential job in New Orleans.  Clear 4 different itineraries with 3 different bosses.  Cry and tell Kyle that I hate him on several occasions.  Mean none of them, but the frustration makes me mean.  Finally get things figured out and set.  Oh, also I did some work.

May 21 10:19 Mooched wifi crashes before I’m able to come up with a decent ending to this post.  Fuck.

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Charm City Kim May 22, 2009, 8:21 am


    But I have to say, I’m pretty sure you can find the finest examples of White Trash at any Wal-Mart. That’s what makes it so entertaining sometimes. 🙂

  • joy refurbished May 25, 2009, 10:38 am

    Talk about 78 sucky hours. Hope it gets easier IMMEDIATELY (sounds like “soon” wouldn’t be soon enough). Don’t feel too bad – frustration makes me mean too.

  • Jelly May 28, 2009, 5:08 pm

    Just Wow.

    I am sure Kyle knows you don’t REALLY hate him.

    Hope things get better soom, which, by the sounds of it, won’t be too difficult!

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