I could do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day and today would still be considered a victory.
I could sit on the couch and watch the entirety of a Jersey Shore marathon.
I could lie on the carpet and try to catch Cheez-Its in my mouth.
I could spend the entire afternoon playing Solitare.
I could lay in bed and watch YouTube videos of kittens sneezing.
I could create a MySpace profile.
I could lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for the rest of the day and today would still be a success.
Why?
Because I, ladies and gentlemen, bought pantyhose for my brother’s graduation, which is still two weeks away.
I did not wear the only pair I could find, ones that have been dried too many times, are held together with clear nail polish and hair spray, and are completely missing the crotch.
I did not buy a pair in the airport on the way to get my luggage.
I did not buy a pair at a gas station on the way to the event.
No, I bought a pair of pantyhose before the day of the event. Two weeks before, no less.* This was a feat of planning and responsibility of epic magnitude. Okay, so maybe it was more like I happened to walk by the hosiery display at Rite Aid while I was picking up some toilet paper because I’d gone for my morning pee and discovered that we were completely out of toilet paper and I was not going to “just use kleenexes” like Kyle suggested because, ew, that’s weird, and when I saw the display I thought, “Oh, shit, I should buy some pantyhose for Chris’ graduation so I don’t have to buy them from a gas station on the way to his graduation like I usually do.” But the point is I actually bought the fucking things. Which is, itself, a feat of planning and responsibility of epic magnitude.
I’m claiming today in the name of victory, bitches.
*Which means I now have two weeks to loose them, buy another pair at a gas station on the way to his graduation, and find them three months later. The point is, I bought them.
Hahaha. I called someone back this morning (he didn’t pick up) and am already chalking the day up to success too! We are so good at life! Yes!
Err…I recommend stay ups wholeheartedly.
Then again, I find crotchless pantyhose useful for all sorts of reasons.
Just sayin.
– B x
Pantyhose that is missing the crotch?
You need to wear those.
😉